Monday, February 16, 2004
In reality, on my soapbox again.
Okay, so I will admit that I haven't been the most outspoken weblogger lately. Somehow I've let the day-to-day get the better of me, and this little experiment in being the cynical town crier has gone somewhat awry. But, true to form, it only takes a slight bump on society's road to normalcy to wake me from my silent reverie. So buckle up, faithful readers, it's about to get a little rough.
It all started last night during a breathless run-up to the penultimate episode of HBO's "Sex and the City", a particular urban rite of passage that has kept me on the edge of my couch for the last few years, give or take. We had some folks over the house and were spending the odd half hour or so trading quips over the latest crop of reality shows that seem to have sprouted overnight. I swear, at times it seems that extra channels are invented for just this kind of media crap. It happened that the show our friends were glued to at the time was something called "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", the latest pile of excrement to ooze from the minds at ABC. This show features guerrila-style house renovations, a weepy suburban family application process, and a big Road Rules-esque bus carrying every sort of stereotypical media darling house designer, from the tough, scruffy general-contractor type to the leather-jacketed, effeminate-but-TV-friendly gay interior designer. Natch.
Despite my obvious distate for this display, this version of the already hackneyed "Extreme Makeover" series wasn't the real problem. Of course, it didn't escape my notice that the good folks at ABC were spending countless millions "renovating" a perfectly sound home somewhere in a stable middle-class American suburb - all the while, of course, thousands of people in lower-class America, not to mention the rest of the world, can't even keep the rain off their heads. No, despite the fact that something called "Extreme Makeover: Habitat for Humanity" would have made much more sense, this wasn't the real problem, and I let it slide. But only for now.
The real problem, so that you should know where my mind is at the moment, came during a station break while we sat, drinking in the hypocrisy, listening to me rant about being fair and balanced. No-one got the joke, by the way, but nevermind. Flipping through the regular channels, the TV landed on FOX, the Fake Network, where a promo for their new reality show Playing it Straight was beginning to roll. As the outline for this incredible self-aggrandizing piece of trash programming became clear, I began to wonder if I would even survive the apoplectic fit I felt was the inevitable outcome. Apparently, this show turns the already gray morality of shows like "Joe Millionaire" and "the Bachelor" on its philosophical ear. For starters, I will let FOX's own promotional copy speak for itself:
One beautiful single woman. 14 sexy bachelors. A million-dollar prize. Think you know where this is going? Think again...FOX puts this young lady and the viewing audience to the test to determine which guys are straight and which guys might be just PLAYING IT STRAIGHT [...] the rules are simple: if a straight guy is the last man standing, the couple splits the money. However, if a gay guy fools his way to the finish line, he leaves $1 million richer. With serious cash up for grabs, first impressions have never been more important [...] Some will come out with nothing, some will come out of the closet, but only one will come out victorious. As for Jackie, she will either leave with love, money or her "gaydar" in need of serious repair.
Are they kidding? Someone over at ABC must really have their head planted resolutely up an ass. What I read from this copy, and from the promo spot I watched during prime-time last night, was that it's okay for gay role models to suppress their personality - and their lifestyle - for entertainment. What's more, they'll even get paid. Not only do homosexual men have to pose as straight men, but they have to try and fool a straight woman by playing the part of a potential lover. Provocative? Twisted? Morally bankrupt? Yes and, in a strange twist of fate, the same words used by the conservative right to shut down the march of progress in states like Massachusetts and California in the first place. And what's this about these gay men selling out on TV? Is it right that some of the few gay role models we have in the media are only allowed there if they pretend to be someone else? Life shouldn't be like a game show, and no matter what we're fed by networks like ABC and FOX, life is simply not like a reality show.
I say, stop bitching and moaning about gay marriage and take a look at what the media - and our own sensationalist tendencies - are doing. Two mommies aren't the true danger for American's children, despite what our brainless leader Mr. Bush says. I think that watching human beings - role models, no less - sell their very souls for prime-time ratings is a much more sobering lesson for our children than it is to have - gasp - two whole parents for a change. Make your own choices about this latest round of programming, but I know I won't be watching.
Who's with me?